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How was 2019 for you?



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Nativity scene at home ... and adding some digiscrapping stuffs which i seem to have accumulated years ago. 

Honestly, I must admit 2019 is the worst (for me). But it did show me who wanted to stay with me and my family. There's no denying the emotional turmoil we experienced, but at least now the mask has been removed. Now we see who is who. Who? πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆπŸ‘‡πŸ‘†πŸ˜

No regrets here on my side. Now no more tiptoeing on eggshells, putting aside your wants just to satisfy someone else's, overthinking, and all that toxic stuffs. I actually breathed easier these past few months. Oh don't get me wrong: I still wish things are different, but. People make their own decisions and one I thing I also learned: NEVER CHASE PEOPLE. If they want to stay with you, they will. If not ... well. Let them go. Hoping that they will be happy where they want to go, and vice versa. πŸ‘πŸ˜Š

Now, isn't that just full of Christmas cheer? lol. πŸ˜‚

Enjoy the festivities, wherever in the world you are located! πŸŽ…πŸŽ„πŸŒŸ

The Little Things Matter. A Lot.



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Taken today, while trying the DSLR {in other words, the HEAVY camera}. It needs some getting used to. Well, it has been years since I used it ... my eldest son used it quite a lot before. But now, it's just "staying over by the corner of the house" and I thought: "Why not use it again!"
Why, indeed not.

But as you can see, I am struggling getting the hang of using the heavy dslr again. Aside from the weight, the size of the camera is way different from my phone camera, too. Well, duh!

I must have made about 4 tries before the shot came out decent. Since I was using my macro lens, a slight wiggle of my arms would cause catastrophic ripples on the shot ... and that was what just happened. I think i should have posted here the failed shots, but I deleted those from the camera. {A way of erasing one's mistakes, I suppose. I wish it was easier in life. *sigh.} Next time I'll post those failed shots here, too. lol. πŸ˜„

But on to our journey, eh? Of getting back our true selves. The person that we want to be. Before life happened. 😁

Still continuing ... still living. And always feeling grateful. πŸ’–

Autumn Is The Time Of Letting Go



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"Every leaf speaks bliss to me, 
fluttering from the autumn tree."
- Emily BrontΓ«

...shot taken last 20Oct2019.

Animal Monday ... moving on.



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Another Monday.


And just like the kitten on the shot, we move on. Choosing to move on in spite of the anxieties and whatever-else-is-there-to-stop-you is always a good choice. Not that it is going to be easy. Not that just because you chose to move on, everyday will be cheery and sunny. {But we wish it were.}

Oh, by no means am I an expert in moving on. In fact, I have difficulties moving on. It has been years since I've been in my comfort zone. And believe me, I thought I would stay there forever. But life has it's own plan. That I have to accept. And own.

So for now, I choose to take itsy-little bits of steps to move on. Hard, but definitely doable.

I just wish our neighbor's music isn't so sad, though. Yup, their music is loud. Am used to it by now. 😁

The Person Who Loves You Will Never Leave You



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The title can be interpreted in a lot of ways, don't you think so?

Some people are here for us. But that doesn't mean they will stay with us for the rest of our lives. Sometimes you get separated. Sometimes the other one dies. Sometimes you transfer to another place. But the ones that love you, will always be with you. In your heart.

Life can really be what we feed our minds on what it looks like. I mean, sometimes it's awesome, and at other times it sucks. Big Time. But I believe that life is constantly changing. And our attitude towards those stimulus can determine how our hours will be for the rest of the day. Oh, I am not perfect. In fact, some triggers can make me blow my top so fast I won't even know the words that go out of my mouth! I'd regret it later on, but what can I do? The unwanted deed has been done. I just need to move on. And hope it won't happen again.

That sounded pathetic. πŸ™Š

😝




Happy Days are Here Again.



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These past few days I have felt calm. That is kind of unusual for me. Yep, I am the early-morning-madness and all that jazz kind of person. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜… The past few months, anyway. Oh wait. Years, maybe. I can't be entirely sure.

I would like to believe that I have accepted things. And started to move on. No more jittery thoughts and all that overthinking sh*t. Life is what you make of it. It should not depend entirely on one -or two- person(s) in your life. It entirely depends on YOU (or me, for that matter). Sure, there are days that I slip and take two steps backward, but... I'm not perfect. And during those days, I just rest.

"Sing. Sing a song. Sing out loud. Sing out strong. Sing of good things, not bad. Sing of happy, not sad...." Listening to Barbra Streisand right now. Just me being me.

Happy Days are Here Again. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’•

Rain, Rain .... Thank You for Staying



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Some of you might not like me right now ... because I thanked the rain for staying. πŸ’¦πŸ’§πŸ˜

I read that some places currently are close to being flooded and some are already flooded! I am so sorry for the places that are flooded; trust me, I know how that feels! But there is just something about the rain that kind of balances me. I don't know if it is the pitter-patter or the cool temperature. But I do know that watching the rain (without the strong winds, thunder, and lightning, of course) makes me calm. 

Oh, I read and finished a new book yesterday. The Bucket List to Mend a Broken Heart by Anna Bell. It was a very light read. Kind of like the "feel-good" movies. I had to laugh in some part of the book since it was so similar to what I have been experiencing these past few months. I mean, guess it is a universal thing. lol. But it definitely encouraged me to make my own bucket list! A newer version. Had one before, but .... you know how your plans sometimes seems to have a mind of it's own. That's the universe telling me something, I know. 

Will post a pic of the book next time. The cool weather and the drizzle is making me want to go back to my bed and sleep .... πŸ˜„

update: Friday December 20, 2019
... I never did post a pic of that book, did i? 😱
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